THIS is England #10 – Craft Beer Hipster-Lite Wanker

Cartoons, Hipster Twats, THIS is England

They’re on the increase! They’re taking over the place! A few years ago they were swilling Fosters and Carling with the rest of the peasants, but now…. now they’re some kind of faux-cool. Now that Topman and every other high street menswear chain is churning out dreadful hipster-style clothes, they’ve jumped on the hipster bandwagon. Even a real original hipster would be preferable to this wannabe loser.

How to be like this dreadful specimen: get a greasy short-back-and-sides. Grow a beard (which everyone hated a few years ago, but, y’know, now they’re so IN). Button your shirt right up to the top (it simply MUST be some sort of check/plaid shirt). Turn up the bottoms of your overly skinny jeans. Perch a ridiculous little woollen hat atop your head. ¬†CONGRATULATIONS, you now fit in! Now go forth and hang around in pretentious bars, drinking shitty ‘craft beers’ which all taste the same (vile), and enjoy the company of the rest of your cretinous kind.

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THIS is England #9 – English Summer Twat

Cartoons, THIS is England

At the slightest hint of sunshine his shirt’s off, and he’s off ¬†out and about wandering the streets with Special Brew in hand, fag in mouth, and a glare on his face. For some reason this waste of oxygen looks down on everyone else, despite the fact that he contributes nothing to society, and is constantly on benefits.

Is there a more odious fellow upon the Earth than this chap? I have my doubts.

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